Logan Buck Robinson

Logan Buck was born in the early hours on Monday March 16th. He came in at 9 pounds even and 20. 5 inches long.

This has been my hardest pregnancy yet. I don't know if it has to do with age, having other children to care for, weight, number of times being pregnant or what, but I am sure it is a combination of all those things. The last 12 weeks or so were very hard on my body and as the end drew near, I felt very cumbersome and achy and just worn out.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was measuring large and I was sure this baby would come early, like my previous babies had. I had been having Braxton hicks contractions for weeks and weeks and thought this baby would follow the pattern of arriving before the "due date."

More than a week before he was born, I started having some contractions that I believed were stronger and more consistent and I was sure that I was in pre-labor and that active labor was on the horizon. I called my midwife, but when I went to bed that night. the contractions stopped. In the morning, I got up and went walking and had several strong contractions, but as soon as my walk was over, the contractions stopped. Janice came to check on my that afternoon and offered some suggestions to get labor going. I was only dilated to a 1.5 (I was shocked to not be further dilated) and was not effaced at all. I resolved myself to the fact that baby wasn't ready to be born yet.

Each day was so difficult. I kept wondering if my water would break spontaneously, like it had with Zeke. I kept wondering at every twinge if labor would start. I'd go to bed at night praying that I would have contractions strong enough to wake me up and begin labor. But days and nights passed. My due date drew near. I passed the 9 days early mark (Zeke was born 9 days early.) Then I passed the 6 days early mark (both the girls were born 6 days early.) Then each day brought me closer to my due date and no closer to having a baby. It was discouraging. I had the most irrational thought that this baby was not going to come out. I continued to make plans and try and have things to do. Play dates, Jr. School, Girl's Night Outs, Grocery shopping, running various errands, etc. It was good to try and keep myself distracted. My due date came and went and I couldn't believe I was still pregnant.

My feet began to be severely swollen. The swelling would not go down at night. I was a bit concerned. Janice called to check up on me the day after my due date and she mentioned the idea of taking her castor oil cocktail to see if we could get contractions going. We made a plan for me to take it the next day. So, Sunday I went to church for an hour, came home and made a milkshake with ice cream, milk, raw eggs and castor oil. Then, I waited. I took a nap with the kids that afternoon and then we went to dinner at mom and dad's house. Whenever I was standing up or walking around, I was having some stronger contractions. After dinner, Sarah and mom and I went on a walk and that got the contractions to pick up in frequency and intensity. After the walk and when we came home, they had slowed down a bit. I thought about going for another walk after the kids were in bed, but Janice recommended that I get some rest. She said I had given it my best shot. I was bummed to go to sleep and not be in labor, but I figured I was learning patience.

Just a few minutes before 1 am, I woke with a start due to a painful contraction. I used the bathroom and then tried to go back to sleep, but within 10 or 15 minutes I had 3 more contractions that were painful enough to keep me awake. I got up and informed Russ that these contractions were painful and close together. He began getting the birth tub ready, putting in the liner and getting it all the way inflated, etc. I called the midwives who were at Lori Ann's house in Buhl and told them to head over. I called Sarah and she said to keep her posted and let her know when the midwives came. She didn't want to come over too soon. I called Rachel and then texted other family members. I was having a hard time finishing a text before I'd have to stop and breath through a contraction. I was in the living room on the exercise ball and the contractions seemed to be coming pretty frequently. I texted Lani to come over. I headed upstairs to help Russ make the bed and then the midwives arrived. I had to take a break a couple times while making the bed due to contractions. The midwives got their things set up in the room and then checked my blood pressure, which was a little bit high. They then listened for baby's heartbeat, which sounded good. They wanted me to lay on my left side and check my blood pressure again and so I came upstairs to the bed. I kept having contractions and I was surprised at how frequently they were coming. I stayed on the bed for just a couple contractions and had Russ apply some counter-pressure. I didn't like being on the bed and moved to the ball in the living room again.

There were a couple times I had to use the bathroom, but due to the hose being hooked up to the sink, I had to go down to the kitchen sink to wash my hands. I could barely make it from the bathroom to the kitchen before having another contraction. I was surprised at how close together they were.

After moving back down to the ball, I was chatting with Janice, Lori, and Lani in between contractions and then texting Sarah. I noticed one contraction on the ball that got more intense, lasted longer and was more painful than the previous contractions. In my head I wondered if I was transitioning. I couldn't quit bring myself to say it out loud, I didn't think it was possible to be that far along already. I got off the ball and onto my knees and had one contraction while leaning over the ball. I wanted to start making noise. I normally breath through most of my contractions and then start to moan a bit when I transition. Again, I thought, "am I really transitioning? Am I ready to make noise during contractions?" I also felt a great deal of pressure during that contraction and decided I'd like to get in the tub. I went upstairs and in the hallway had another contraction. I leaned on Russell during that one and then went to the room where the birth ball was. Janice listened to baby's heart beat one more time and then I got in the tub. It felt so nice. A couple minutes after getting in the tub, my mom and Sarah arrived.

I only had about 3 or 4 contractions in the tub and with each one I was wanting to make noise but didn't believe I was that close to having a baby. After about the 4th contraction I had the urge to push and then whoosh, my water broke. Then I just started pushing. I couldn't believe I was already at the pushing stage!!! I had just gotten in the tub!

I only pushed for about 4 or 5 minutes, but I was the most controlled and calm during the pushing stage than with any of my other births. I just braced my hands against the bottom of the tub and slowly slowly pushed baby out. I remember taking a few breaks and just breathing. When baby's head was half way out, I took a break from pushing and felt the most bizarre feeling, I felt the baby turn his head to the side, which was painful and weird! After his head was out, I felt the baby move again, turning his shoulders. I will never forget the feeling of the baby moving his body as he was being born. Such a unique sensation!

Russell had his hands right there, ready to catch baby and he brought him up out of the water, Janice unwrapped the cord from his neck and then they handed him to me. At this point we didn't know if he was a boy or girl, but I just started rubbing his back and talking to him and then of course, I started crying. After about 30 seconds we finally looked to see if it was a girl or boy. It was a BOY! I repeated that a few times, "It's a boy! It's a boy!" all the while, crying tears of joy. Russ and I continued to talk to him and rub him and just marvel at this baby and what had just happened. I was in shock! I can't believe that I gave birth to this baby! I have done this multiple times, but it still amazes me what our bodies are capable of! Simply amazing and awe-inspiring!

My mom then went and woke Eve up and she came in to meet her brother. We spent a few more minutes in the tub and then cut the cord and handed baby off to Russ. I got out, delivered the placenta and then moved to the bed. After we were settled on the bed, my mom and Russell went to fetch Zeke and Emmie. We then just spent the next little while looking at and talking about this sweet little boy who had joined our family.

What a glorious day!!

And now for the pictures!