Bathed in sunlight

Emmie Diane Robinson was born on Easter Sunday (April 8, 2012). She was born in a birthing tub, at home, with the room bathed in sunlight.

Hers was the most uninterrupted, undisturbed labor and delivery I have had. It was calm and peaceful and happy. I was surrounded by amazing women, my husband and my children. It was such a spiritual experience. There were a few times I was moved to tears, not because of pain, but because of gratitude. Looking into the eyes of my son, watching my daughter put water on my feet, and gazing at my husband all evoked such strong emotions. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of love in my heart. 

Contractions began at about midnight on Saturday night. I was so sure that I would have the baby in the middle of the night. Those contractions never got very strong and were pretty far apart, but the anticipation kept me awake throughout the night. Therefore, I didn’t get much sleep that night, but woke up around 7:30am to a couple stronger contractions. I called Janice and she said she would get some things together and then call me again in about 45 minutes to see if my contractions had continued.

Russ had gotten up with the children and fed them. Then he made some French toast for breakfast for his dad, for me and for himself. The surges continued, not too strong, but they were noticeable. So when Janice called, I told her, they had continued and that they were getting closer together then they had been. She said she’d call Suzy and they would be on their way.

So, I labored. I did not watch the clock. We still wanted to do our Easter egg hunt with the kids and keep things “normal.” Russ hid the eggs outside. Then we took the kids out. I was having contractions the whole time.

We began filling the birth tub.

Then it was time for Russell to take his dad to meet the shuttle down to Utah. Russ offered to take the kids with him. So I stayed home and labored some more. I made some more phone calls, I let mom know I was in labor. I dinked around on the computer. I tidied up a little bit and made sure things were ready for the birth.

Russ got home and then I called my friend Jenny to come over. She brought her daughter Hannah with her. Hannah was wonderful with the kids. She played with them, took them outside, fed them, cleaned them up, etc. She was great to have here. 

The midwives arrived around 11:30. They just got to setting things up and prepping the room. I laid on the bed and rested a little bit. I watched the clock, vaguely, for 2 contractions. But other than that, I hardly looked at the clock at all. Janice did check my blood pressure and told me she wanted me to eat. I ate a toasted wheat bagel with peanut butter and some string cheese. I sat on the exercise ball while eating. I visited with the midwives and with Jenny.

Then I continued laboring. I labored in the living room, on the ball, on the bed and just all over the house. It was like time was not there. I never timed any contractions. I just let my body move to its own rhythm. I moved about as I felt I needed too. I got on my hands and knees on the stairs, I leaned against the bed, I rolled my hips around on the ball, I sat in the gray armchair. I just did what I felt my body needed.

The midwives went for a walk. Then they encouraged Russ and I to go for a walk. So we did. My surges were very strong during the walk and I had to stop walking a couple of times. I felt like I needed to go the bathroom. So we cut our walk short.

When we got back to the house, I told the midwives about the surges. I had a contraction while talking to them and I leaned over the back of the gray armchair. I then asked the midwives when I should get in the water. Janice said I could get in whenever I felt like it. So, around 3pm, I got in. 

We had the curtains open and the room was just full of sunlight. The pool was warm. I was sweaty. Russell and Jenny kept cool washcloths on my forehead and a cold hand towel around my neck. Eve came in and watched me. She asked questions. She dipped her hand in the water and scooped water onto my feet, which were on the edge of the pool. She moved in and out of the room as she wanted.

Zeke had been taking a nap and when he woke up he came in and saw me in the tub. He started splashing in the water with his hands. He also moved in and out of the room as he wanted.

My surges became stronger and at one point I asked Janice about not “pushing” but letting contractions expel the baby. I had heard of women who had not pushed but let the contractions push baby out. This concept was foreign to me since I felt that I had pushed like gang-busters with my first two births. Janice said that yes, contractions would get the baby out and that she encouraged moms to do that as much as possible. She expressed it as “breathing baby out.” Just breathing through the surges and letting the contractions move baby down and out. She said it was better for baby and mommy.

So, that is what I tried to do. The surges did become much more intense and harder to breathe through. They got a lot more painful. I cried. It hurt. But, I could feel baby girl moving down. I could feel the pressure of her head and the movement of her down through my body. It was amazing. 

I breathed through about 3 or 4 of those really painful surges and then at some point I HAD to push. I said, “I have to push. I have to push.” I couldn’t help it. My body wanted to push. I pushed once and my water broke. Then I just pushed as I felt the need. Janice said to just push when I felt like it and to take my time and to guide baby down. I pushed a couple of times sitting on my bum, but then I decided to move to my knees.Russ was behind me, ready to help catch the baby. I held onto the edge of the tub with both hands for a short time and then held on with my right hand and pushed my left hand against the bottom of the pool. I pushed, but I also tried to use restraint. I let the baby’s head come out a little bit and then back up a little bit. Then out a little more and back a bit more. It was probably only a few seconds each time, but I tried to let my body stretch. I gritted my teeth and held the edge of the tub so tight, and let the ring of fire burn.

The baby’s head was out! I pushed once more  thinking that would be all and she’d be out. But she didn’t come on that push. I had to push a couple more times, which surprised me. I remember saying “come on!” And then, she came. She was out. I started to flip over while Janice untangled the baby from the umbilical cord. Then Russell and Janice handed her to me and I cried. Russ moved over closer to me and baby and then we began talking to and touching her. A minute or two later she began to cry. We rubbed her, we spoke to her and I just held her. Zeke was there. Eve came in. We looked at the baby and talked about the “white stuff” that was all over her. It was wonderful. 

Janice told us that Emmie had been born with a Nuchal hand which means her hand was up by her head/face when she came out. Her other hand was by her shoulder, and that is why it took a bit more pushing than I expected to get her out. Janice also pointed out the TRUE KNOT in Emmie's cord. She told us it is only the 4th time she has ever seen a true knot. (So, at some point, when baby girl was smaller, she was swimming around and created a knot in the umbilical cord.)

We stayed in the water for about 10 or 15 minutes. Russ cut the cord. He held baby while I got out of the tub and onto the bed to deliver the placenta. Russ gave the baby back and I began nursing her. I delivered the placenta. The kids all got on the bed. We spent time bonding. 

Of all of my births, this was by far the most peaceful, the most comfortable, and the least invasive. Each of my birth experiences have been wonderful in their own right. But choosing to have Emmie at home was a wonderful choice for us and I am so happy with that decision. My midwives were amazing. They were supportive and caring and very hands-off. They let me do what I needed to do. They respected mine and my family’s space. I just have this image in my mind of  them in the background. They were the quiet support behind the scenes, only moving in when asked or needed. They were observers. 

Emmie's birth was powerful. It was sacred. Time was irrelevant. My body moved and obeyed it's instincts. I was an observer to my body's scope and ability to perform this amazing feat. It was amazing.